She Could Break

This is our strange new reality.  Broken bones.  We've been home with Peyton since Thursday night.  It is strange.

Peyton lays in bed.  She receives all of her breathing treatments in bed.  All of her meds are given in bed.  Everything - in bed.  It's a delicate little dance we do every time she needs a diaper change or shifted or otherwise moved.

She could break.

It's a few fear we have, though the reality is that this has been the case for at least a short time unknown to us.  How do we touch her?  Should we touch her?  Will one false move injure another limb?  Will her chest physical therapy {CPT} break her ribs?

We look at her.  We help her.  We do what needs to be done.  But there's an underlying fear of breaking her little body in some way.

It's a very strange reality.  How many parents have this fear - and have it be a truly legitimate one?

Monday will be interesting.  Her wheelchair is going to be adjusted.  In the process, Peyton will have to be transferred from crib to chair and back again.  Perhaps the process will need to be repeated.  It will cause her some level of pain to do this.  I don't want to hurt her.  Moving her means there's a greater risk of injury.

She can't stay lying in bed.  That's not good for her either.

I just want to protect her and keep her safe.