Today marks six months since our sweet Peyton passed away. Six months seems absolutely incomprehensible. It is surreal to think that so much time has passed. I have said it before - no matter how much time has passed, it all at once seems like an eternity yet seems like it was just yesterday.
It is also very hard to believe that we are now in November and are charging full steam ahead into the holiday season. I don't expect this to be an easy time for us. For myself, this month I will celebrate my first birthday without Peyton. For our family, we will celebrate Thanksgiving without her present with us and then Christmas next month. Then it will be a new year. That is so much more difficult to comprehend. It has always been difficult for me to transition to a new month wherein it is a new month that Peyton has not been present with us. I can't bear flipping that last calendar page and beginning a new year that she will not physically be a part of with us.
On November 1st, Ron and I attended a Service of Remembrance at St. Luke's Chapel at MUSC. One of Peyton's home nurses attended with us. I was honored that she attended with us as she was the last home nurse to work with her. She moved out of town shortly after Peyton went into the hospital and wasn't here when she passed away. She has since moved back and I am so grateful she could attend this with us.
The service was so touching. It was as much for MUSC staff members as it was for the families grieving the loss of a child. I have no idea when the other families suffered their losses, but my heart broke for them as it did for my own loss. The service opened with words from a Chaplain from MUSC's Pastoral Care group as well as from the Administrator of MUSC Children's Hospital. Similar to Peyton's funeral service, there were so many comforting words spoken, yet so few that I could recall to memory right now. The Administrator spoke to the medical staff, addressing the fact that this year has been a challenging year with some very difficult cases. I believe I know one of the cases to which he was referring. I know what it is like to be a grieving parent. I do not know what it is like to be in the shoes of the medical staff who work with patients like Peyton. I can honestly say that my heart breaks for them in the losses that they must endure in their profession.
A beautiful poem was read. I have heard it before, but it is always touching and always brings tears to my eyes: